Online Marketing

This Particular Blog Entry is Really, Really Neat »
Posted on April 24th, 2008 by Derrick McKee in Business Blogging, Internet, Online Marketing, Social Media | 3 Comments

The esteemed Sir Paul Woodhouse (I knighted him the other day with the office ketchup bottle) and I were having a conversation seconds ago while the big boss-man was on the phone (he runs a tight, AIM-only ship here at DirectOM thanks to Paul’s cockeyed accent). Continue reading →

Trying to Put Your Finger on those Online Marketing Smoke Signals »
Posted on March 3rd, 2008 by Paul Woodhouse in Online Marketing | Leave A Comment

This weekend I turned into Dougie Knowles.

Doug was a bygone old buffer from the land that time forgot during my formative years at Nelson Cricket Club. He was a lovely chap. Dougie was a left-arm finger spinner who’d lost the tips of his spinning fingers in a weaving accident and happened to play at the same time as Johnny Wardle - arguably England’s most prolific left-arm finger spinner ever. You could say on a variety of levels that he’d been dealt something of a bum hand. Continue reading →

Cable Thievery, Corporate Numbskullerry, and the Unfortunate Rise of those With a Clue »
Posted on February 29th, 2008 by Paul Woodhouse in E-commerce, Online Advertising, Online Marketing | 2 Comments

You’ll be pleased to know I’ve just passed the longest period of uninterrupted home Internet access with the illustrious Comcast. More or less ever since I moved into my apartment last June I’d lose service for unconscionably long periods. Various Comcast ‘techs’ had run so many wires through the place that the audible hum was on the verge of drowning out the sound of the traffic. Continue reading →

Target in Tragic Response, Blogosphere Takes Aim. »
Posted on January 18th, 2008 by Paul Woodhouse in Business Blogging, Internet, Online Marketing | Leave A Comment

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Really Dim (Sum) Shadies »
Posted on October 10th, 2007 by Paul Woodhouse in Online Marketing, SEM | Leave A Comment

What is it with Lou Dobbs?

If I’ve heard him whine about illegal immigrants and Chinese outsourcing once, I’ve heard him whine a thousand times. His current (and other ‘commenters’) crispy-shredded beef with China’s non-existent quality control borders on the hysterical.

I’m almost starting to believe that there are secret slips written in Chinese compelling children to ingest their lead-fueled and carcinogenic Barbie Dolls in some dastardly plot to retardate or kill off America’s future. And now the evil swines are trying to nobble us all via toxic apple juice.

I’m expecting exploding Chinese-made Twinkies any day soon.

Continue reading →

Between a Rock of Love and a Hard Place. »
Posted on October 1st, 2007 by Paul Woodhouse in Online Advertising, Online Marketing | Leave A Comment

As somebody once pointed out in some ditty on some long player, “I’m working hard for the weekend.”

Or lyrics to that effect.

It seems to go without saying that every waking hour is taken up by somebody or other wishing to pay either us or Wheeling a visit. The memory of languid weekends with my feet out-stretched waiting for the back of my knees to seize up just prior to the onset of pins and needles is a distant one. Continue reading →

Danger! High Voltage. »
Posted on September 23rd, 2007 by Paul Woodhouse in Online Marketing | 1 Comment

I’ve always found myself a tad confused when trying to compare junior, middle and high schools with their British equivalents. Once you start adding college and university to the mix I’m completely lost. You see, the ages you Americans progress through your schooling are slightly different to those in the UK. For example, college for us is the important bridge between high school finishing and university starting where you take your A-levels as an entrance requirement. It also covers the same years as the end of high school in America.

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“Speakers……Faarsands of ‘em” »
Posted on September 9th, 2007 by Paul Woodhouse in Online Marketing, Web Credibility | Leave A Comment

There’s nothing I like more than kicking back and watching a movie. A cracking little film is always preferable to an absolute duck-egg, but I’ll give anything a chance.

The only way of assuaging a sense of celluloid shame and guilt after watching something lousy is by doing a hardcore Ebert and Roeper. Rather than dual or single thumbs-up or down, a couple of thumbscrews can be tightened to inflict an inversley proportionate amount of discomfort in accordance to the lameness of the film.

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Steering Clear of Clueless Cliches and Bizarre Buzzwords »
Posted on August 21st, 2007 by Paul Woodhouse in Business Blogging, Online Marketing, SEO | Leave A Comment

It intrigues my why we use cliches. The most preposterous cliché users tend to be sportsmen, politicians, and business types of every persuasion. It’s a way for us to cover up what we mean or talk about things about which we have little idea.

Every day you’ll hear nonsense from sales people about why you should jump all over something there and then. Would you be prepared to purchase a product or service from somebody who perceived themselves to be a leading provider of paradigm shifting win-win situations? And always laugh in the face of some idiotic higher-up who tries to motivate via the power of cliché. Have you ever wondered where the extra 10% comes from when you’re giving 110%?

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve been known to use the odd cliché in my time and I’ve felt the need for a cold shower and a scrubbing brush afterwards such was my shame.

Continue reading →

Growing Up and Moving On »
Posted on July 18th, 2007 by Paul Woodhouse in Online Marketing | Leave A Comment

It dawned on me this morning that it’s the summer holidays. As a kid you never used to forget these things. Holidays, birthdays and Christmas were genetically imprinted in the same way birds have that odd ability to fly across the globe to take it easy when the weather gets cooler and salmon swim relentlessly upstream to spawn.

It is your raison d’etre as a child. In fact, I still remember every single holiday however small or large you were afforded while you were at school. It wasn’t until you started seeing the careers people at around 14 that a fearful realisation started to flourish about leaving school and becoming a big boy - your holiday allotment was going to be decimated once you hit the outside world.

From something around ten weeks a year, you’d be lucky if you ever saw two again - unless you became a teacher. Continue reading →

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