Happy 4th of July!

As an Englishman it’s something of a boon having July the 4th off especially considering it’s my first as a permanent resident. I’m still at the stage where I struggle working out which breast to clutch with which hand as somebody cranks up the generator to get the speakers bellowing something faintly patriotic.

It at least beats the time I stood for the national anthem at Jacob’s Field and did a full 360 trying to work out where the flag was.

I don’t know whether I need a citizenship, self-awareness, or eye-test.

To say your fireworks go off with a bang is not only a statement of the obvious but also a slight understatement. The last time I felt such a blast in my pants was after a banger went off in my trouser pocket when I was knee-high to a grasshopper.

The Oglebay show wasn’t too shabby, but the one on Wheeling Suspension Bridge, that I could watch by dangling out of my bathroom window, was an absolute humdinger.

I’m not used to such whopping local shows.

In the UK we do have a fireworks spectacular on the 5th of November – otherwise known as Bonfire Night. But, they aren’t a patch on what you Americans offer up for Independence Day. Our displays tend to flirt more readily with danger as rockets screech into crowds or career into terraced houses – sometimes crowds of terraced houses. We struggle with space and the local funding. We can’t all go around letting 900 million dollars go up in smoke you know.

So, on behalf of everyone here at Direct Online Marketing™, I’d like to wish you all a happy 4th of July and hope it was as remotely entertaining as mine was.